30 Day Challenge: Day 29- Free Write

It’s 2 hours before I have to leave the staff accommodation in the AM and I’m lying on my couch, willing time to pass by quicker so I can step foot on that flight. As I mentioned in my first 30-day challenge post, I really love flying, especially when it’s to a new location or when I’m going home. This time, I get the best of both worlds. When I disembark the flight in Dubai, I will have around 7-8 hours to explore the city alone. I’ve already bought tickets online for the Burj Khalifa at 6pm, and plan to spend the rest of my time in the Dubai mall. The afterwards it’s another 8 hours 40 minutes to my final destination, Shanghai a.k.a home.

You know, I was scared to explore this gulf city by myself. I had plans to meet up with my now ex-boyfriend and he kept persisting to have his friends pick me up and he’ll meet us for dinner after work. I even taunted him about getting me a birthday present. I’ve been battling this for daaays, wondering if I actually should meet up with him or not. Some of my friends said yes, some said no. It was so hard for me to make the decision, but I decided not to. I could not break up with him and take one step forward, then meet up with him and take two steps back, knowing that I’ll probably fall into the same trap. I couldn’t do that. Meeting up with him would have been my comfort zone, and I needed to get out of it. It was probably one of the hardest things I’ve written on whatsapp, when I told him I would rather explore the city alone. The worst part was his reply- ‘ok, all the best’, then an accidental text 30 minutes after that was suppose to be for someone else. It just felt like he’s moved with a snap of the fingers, while I’m here trying to forget about him with very little success because I still think about him every day.

BUT I am glad it is over. I have lived and learned. I do not regret my decision and I knew he would be an ass about it anyway, so why should I even give him the time of day? What really got me to make my decision was that I realized he does not add any value to my life whatsoever, and if we had dinner together, the conversations would be all about him because he’d make it that way. More importantly, I wouldn’t be able to be myself around him and his friends. I’ve hung out with them in August, and I never felt more out of place. And he didn’t help either.

So I should just stop talking about him and focus on learning my lesson. I am taking the advice of the commenter on black box warnings and exploring Dubai with myself. I will learn to be comfortable with being with myself.

Anyway, until then! I will hopefully post tomorrow when I’m in the airport (if the Internet holds)- otherwise I will have to get a VPN in Shanghai because wordpress is blocked there and post then. Love you all.

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