Ever have one of those days where you find yourself with absolutely nothing to do even though the past two weeks have been crazy with appointments, errands, lunches and dinners?
Yup, that is me today.
So much, and I literally mean, so much, has happened recently, that I decided to just block everything out for today, take a chill pill, and resume life tomorrow. It has been awhile since I’ve posted something personal, so this will be my attempt to do so.
My thoughts are a mess today. They are a jumbled up ball of rubber bands.
Okay, so I try to block everything out. But I fail. These thoughts are like a cheetah (my thoughts) rushing towards a gazelle (my brain). These thoughts are like the drizzle of the strawberry ice-cream cone, slowly melting under the sun and getting all over your hand. These thoughts are like fruit rollups- all rolled up, waiting to be consumed. These thoughts are like dog shit that appear out of nowhere and you stepping on them with your brand new converse, or whatever you kids wear these days.
You get the point.
I would love to share with you a breakdown of my day, but I realized that it is so boring I might just put you to sleep. My thoughts on the other hand… I can’t even disassemble each rubber band.
I just feel sad today. I felt lonely. I was texting people, but I was still lonely. What made me get out of this loneliness was when the guy came to our house to fix the internet (yay!) I had someone to follow around and asked him questions(even though he reeked…). I was watching him walk around intensely in and out of the house while I sat outside in the garden. Then my aunt came back from work and I noticed our bananas in the backyard (yay!) He replaced our white modem with a badass black one (yay!) I also ate some pineapples (yay!)
I did finally get word on how my visa process is going for the Seychelles. Apparently it is supposed to come out today or latest by tomorrow. I have been waiting for this news since July 10 because apparently, I was supposed to go back to Seychelles on July 15. Long story short- I’m supposed to be doing my internship in Seychelles, but due to a work visa issue, the hotel sent me back to Singapore on June 22. They said I would be back on July 15 the LATEST. So I planned my life around that- I worked at an unpaid internship for 2 weeks and took a life coaching course. I was all ready to go back by the 10th. But alas! (Earwax!) It is July 29, and today was the first day I heard anything about my visa. Not to say I don’t appreciate the last two weeks- I had a hell of a time with my family and friends, and I was just starting to settle down and applying for jobs here when I received the email.
Do you know how shitty it is to live with this kind of uncertainty? That you are back in your “home town” for an indefinite amount of time, and that you are expected to just pack up and leave when you are being told to do so? It is extremely frustrating how irresponsible and inconsiderate people can really get. It is extremely frustrating being treated like I would just drop everything and run to Seychelles or Singapore or wherever they want me to go whenever they want. It is extremely frustrating to lose control of my life. I try to be patient, I really do. But when you are a girl who grew up in the city, where life goes on non-stop, where people reply emails within the hour, where important shit gets done and done within a day, you get pretty anxious when you are on a remote island and even the Canadians there are so laid back. I like my shit done NOW.
When I read the email, I know I should be happy. I know I should be looking forward to going back to the beautiful island and continuing my internship. But I’m not. I am not looking forward to going back to being treated like cheap labor, no civilization, and no internet.
BUT as I have learned these few weeks, if I want something done, only I have the power to do it. Only I can be responsible for my life and the outcomes of it, and nobody else.
So with that, I will stop complaining.
Here are the reddest strawberries I’ve ever seen in Asia (the best tasting ones too).
And here is my cousin with his hyperactive dog.
And here is a picture of my niece being vain. God I love her so much.
Hope ya’ll enjoyed this random post as much as I enjoyed writing it. ^^